Saturday, December 16, 2006

THE ART OF FLIRTING!



So this age can be probably marked as an age of “FLIRTS

Flirting is an art and not many are good at it

I know most of the people claim themselves to be flirts, that they can do wonders

They can woo any girl of their choice but frankly speaking those are the ones without girlfriends.!

DEFINITION OF FLIRTING

Flirting is a form of human interaction, usually expressing a sexual or romantic interest in the other person. It can consist of conversation, body language, or brief physical contact. It may be one-sided or reciprocated.

Ok crap now let me redefine it as

DEFINITION OF FLIRTING

Flirting is an art to impress someone (I SAY SOMEONE AS PEOPLE CAN HAVE A DIFFERENCE SEX PREFERENCE OTHER THAN A GUY OR A GAL, AS IN GAY), where people try to prove how great they Are by the art of Barking Speaking

Well I do come across people Undergoing the Initial stage of Flirting i.e.,

  • Eye contact, batting eyelashes, etc. (Yes, If the gal is not intimidated you better have some eye disease or she might give you a black Eye!)
  • "Protean" signals, such as touching one's hair (Yes! They are so silky and its so nice to touch! Beware the gal might shave your hair off!)
  • Casual touches; such as a woman gently touching a man's arm during conversation (Ok! She can be casual but don’t take it as a sign to fulfill your pervert ness)
  • Smiling suggestively (Yes! You got 32 Colgate Brushed teeth so show them! It would be gr8 if she just knocks them down! )
  • Winking ( Yes again you got shit in your eye eh! )
  • Sending notes, poems, or small gifts
  • ( Crap! Old school doings! A poem may go like “OH MY GAL, I LOVE YOU THEE, YOU ARE THE GIFT I GOT FOR FREE)
  • Footsies, the "feet under the table" practice ( Better be sure that the gal isn’t wearing a heeled sandal or those with nails on the heel)

Ok and add to these there are websites like Shaadi.com Where I can see some stuff such as

I am a teen looking for a Queen, I like places to hang and I want gals to bang! How about a gang Bang!!

And then people call these websites as a serious relation portal!

Then puhleez there are some websites with such information

Tips for women only

  • Attitude, not beauty, is the driving force. Studies show that average-looking women who artfully indicate openness and interest achieve more success in attracting male attention than beautiful women who maintain an aloof and disengaged attitude. (YA GO IN THOSE MAID CLOTHES AND TRY IT OUT!)
  • You might have to say it more than once. Don’t be afraid to flirt with a man in many ways over the space of an evening if he doesn’t respond to your first signal. Men sometimes look for verification when trying to determine whether or not a woman is interested in being approached. (YA! DON’T BE AFRAID!! THE GUY WILL RELATE EVERYTHING TO SEX! )

Tips for men only

  • Wait for it, w-a-i-t…f-o-r…i-t! Let her make the first move when it comes to even the slightest physical contact. This gives women the control they need to feel secure. You have a better chance of avoiding a rebuff if you refrain from touching her until after she touches you first – even a slight brush on the arm makes all the difference. (YA! MAKE THE SECOND MOVE. IE., MOVE AWAY! )
  • WARNING! Flirting Conditions Hazardous. Approach Slowly. It’s important to recognize a signal when you see one. She might be interested, but if you are moving too fast she’ll give you negative feedback to create a safe distance, followed by a flirtatious move. These mixed messages mean you still have a chance, but only if you slow your advances. (ARE YOU SUGGESTING OR DEJECTING THE POOR GUY!)

  • Thumbs-up from a woman : Smiling, laughing, giggling, tossing the head while running fingers through the hair, primping (adjusting clothing, even though it is not mussed), leaning forward, whispering in the man's ear, palming (gesturing with an open hand), presenting the neck, short darting glances toward the man, holding the man's gaze, the coy glance (a combination of lowered eyes and a half-smile also seen in many other cultures). ( YA YA ! THAT’S A RARE CASE NOW)
  • Thumbs-down from a woman: Turning the body away, pulling away, sneering, frowning, glaring, yawning, crossing the arms over the chest, picking at the nails. (GET READY FOR THESE)

Ok to make things worse we do come across some lame pick up Lines

To a girl with braces, and if you have them as well: "Hey, wanna hook up sometime?"

Is your name Pepsi cause' I've gotta have it.

Want to taste my dick? (What!?!) I said, "do you want to taste my drink?"

Male: Hey, I don't feel to good. Female: Why? Male: I feel like I have an elephant in my stomach. Female: What? Male: (looking down) I think his truck is already sticking out.

Do you have a boyfriend? [No] Want one? [Yes] Well, when you want a MANfriend, come and talk to me.

Ok the most common of all heard everywhere!

Is your dad a terrorist (YAWN) If she says YES! Then run for ur life

If no then the dialogue continued is “ WHERE DID HE STEAL A GEM SUCH AS YOU FROM?”

Should I call you in the morning or nudge you?

Heights no! Well when will people learn to atleast be creative and be original rather than to just say things that are too inevitable

Gals and Guys both are smart these days hehe…They know when you are going to give those LOSER LOOKS and say something that is too boring to digest!

Try something good such as The only thing your eyes haven't told me is your name.

Yes and if people fail at the art of Flirting I can Imagine TELEBRANDSä©® popping their noses into the business

So yes there will be an advertisement such as

(Include the lip moment urself ok!)

I WAS SO DEJECTED! MY LIFE HAD NO MEANING

I DIDN’T KNEW HOW TO FLIRT! EVERYTIME I CAME ACROSS A GAL SHE USED TO SLAP ME AND USED TO SHOUT LOSER!

WHENEVER I HAD AN URGE TO HAVE SEX SHE USED TO SAY “A PEA ! NO THANKS”

I WAS GOING TO COMMIT SUICIDE BUT EVEN THE TRAIN CHANGED ITS TRACK

THAT IS WHEN I CAME ACROSS TELEBRANDSä©®

AND MY LIFE CHANGED

NOW I CAN FLIRT WITH MY MAID

DOESN’T MATTER SHE IS DEAF AND SHE CANNOT HEAR TO MY YAPPING

AND SHE DOESN’T COMPLAIN TO MY SEXUAL AROUSEMENTS

SHE JUST SAYS “ I CAN PEEL MANY PEAS”

So what are you like,

I don’t think your situation is similar! And I really hope it isn’t!

11 comments:

Michelle said...

ahaha u n z000nie shud team up n have ur own funny blog! :-)

I am a teen looking for a Queen, I like places to hang and I want gals to bang! How about a gang Bang!!

LOLLL funny stuff

Vipul said...

:D hehe

Gangadhar said...

nice info,Vipul.Me read this post at wrong time..lolzz..Wanna go back to my teen age..

--Gangadhar
http://ganga.wordpress.com

Cie Cheesemeister said...

Very funny indeed!
When I was working in the food and beverage industry, some of the females I worked with swore by flirting to get better tips. I was always polite and would chat and joke with customers, but I never flirted. I don't know if those gals got that much better tips than I did or not. I just always hated the idea of flirting with someone I wasn't interested in. Seems too much like lying to me.

Ar Ar Ar Arrrrr said...

Thanks for this tips on flirting dude....can I get a copy of Brit version too....mann toh bahut kar raha hai idhar ke chikni babes ko patane ka, lekin I dont wanna get ma balls kicked....you know what I mean??

Hehehe...tu toh smart hai...aur mera dost bhi hai...toh zaroor madad karega...mujhe pata hai :))

Keshi said...

LOL so funny Vipul! Nice one there and some gory stuff there haha!

Im a big flirt...if I find a guy I really like my flirt button gets switched on and I dun stop hehe. My policy in life is 'Thou shall flirt all ur life'...haha!


**Footsies, the "feet under the table" practice

ooo one of my favs ;-)


I say girls with attitude r great but it's not always that they r lucky. Cos some guys dun like such girls. A tip for women wud be 'stop chasing guys'...it works ;-)


Those pick-up lines r sure to get u shot LOL!

ty Vipul for ur kind words in my blog HUGGGGGGGGZ!

Keshi.

ishipishi said...

funny stuff vipul..!:D

Jewel Rays said...

wow great stuff for man and women there.. and hysterical as well. caught maself laughing many times. :)

and yeah i tot of zoonie too when i read some stuff..

Great stuff vipul!!:D

dwaipayan said...

man!!!!!! u r too much!!

Łóòň Ġãĺ said...

lol pretty informative i say! :P

teacup said...

okay...those pick up lines were...argghh! I hope for the sake of those men that they really don't use them!:)
and flirting is really an art!:) few master it...and I have yet to find such:)